week without the wife

This morning Teresa and Noah left to go down to Florida to see our new nephew, Bennett Gray. These visits happen maybe twice a year, leaving me up here by myself. In the past it’s resulted in songs (oddly enough that was the same time last year…weird). This time that may or may not happen. But I can tell you what’s happened thus far today.

As soon as Teresa pulled out of the driveway I came back in the house and turned on Pandora to blare loud metal in the likeness of The Faceless. I then sat around for a few moments trying to figure out what to do with myself.

First thing’s first, I need food. It’s Sunday, which means there’s little to eat in the house. So I take off to Kroger and buy a bunch of food I shouldn’t eat. Teresa, I’m gonna put the parts you shouldn’t read in italics (she’s can’t think about food with that baby in her) Here it goes: I bought nacho makings, refried beans and chips and such. I bought Hamburger Helper Cheesy Enchilada with the intention of making it, and then eating it in burritos for the following several meals. I got oreos because I’m weak, but I justify it by considering that it will get me to drink more milk. I just realized that the ice cream I got is ALSO Oreo. This is gonna turn out great. Just to cap it all off, I got Hormel Chili and a bag of Fritos to make some sort of awful elementary lunchroom punishment food. I bought all this because I know that if Teresa was here I’d feel guilty about eating like a college kid. But with her gone I can eat anything without repercussions. (Only part of that statement is not false.)

Once I was all fueled up on left-over baked ziti I decided to do something active. I always complain about never getting to ride my bike recreationally, so I figured I should do that. Unfortunately it’s been raining, so the off-road trails were out of the question (See? I’ll always find something to complain about) so I decided to try a good long road ride. (Long in my book is 20 miles) I was sick of my area, so I looked up some routes in the Roswell area and decided to try the Roswell Mayor’s 20 Mile route. Put together a little cue sheet (yes, that’s my bike INDOORS. I can do anything when Tree’s gone.) and set out on the road. My only comment is that the Roswell Mayor must love to climb hills. Jerk.

After that I decided nothing would be better than to go to Smokejacks and eat fried pickles and their sliced pork sandwich. I drove about 5 miles out of my way only to find out they were closed for some weird religious holiday called “Super Bowl.” I guess it’s like a feast of the saints for Catholics or something. Dumb reason to be closed either way. I want my fried pickles.

So, dejected I went to find the next best thing, Taco Bell. Again, keeping the whole college kid theme going as far as nourishment goes. I downed two half pound burritos and a Mountain Dew. Then I hopped on a snow board and did a gnarly double pits to chesty.

Came back to the humble abode, blared some more technical death metal and did the dishes (BODACIOUS). Now as I type this I’m text messaging with my friend (like a cool college kid) figuring out what we’re going to do tonight. Looks like board games and dorkiness. I’M ALL IN. We even discussed settling a monetary debt by providing root beer. This night is gonna be perfect.

Week without the wife day one has thus far been a success. We’ll see how the rest pans out, and I’ll check in tomorrow to let you know if my heart has stopped.


  • Ruthie

    cram in the college-kid-like-social life while you can, and no more complaining about not having friends. I spent the weekend snowed in with a friend making snow angels, and watching movies. super fun=)

  • http://tonybullard.com Tony Bullard

    You should have built an igloo!

    And then taken pictures and posted them on facebook!

  • Big Sis

    Has your IBS kicked in yet? I’m not pregnant and that list made me want to ralph.