where to begin

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about Noah. The time span between this and the last Noah post is part of the reason it’s been so long. Some sort of weird performance anxiety. I feel like if I don’t document it all, then why document at all? That’s a weird sentence.

I haven’t put up video in a while for 2 reasons: 1, I’m lazy, and I hate video editing. 2, Noah isn’t all that interesting anymore.

OK, maybe that’s not true, but we have certainly let down our former 300-pictures-per-month selves. I think there was one month in there where we took like, 4 photos. You’d think he was our third child or something.

He’s getting really smart. Too smart really. We’ve realized that we can no longer talk about him like he’s no in the room. That’s annoying.

The other night Teresa said she needed to take a shower, saying she was “stinky.” Due to her choice of vocabulary for Noah’s diapers, my son thought my wife had pooped her pants.

I’ve found out why disciplining a child is so hard. It’s not the strong will. It’s the fact that you don’t ever want to do it. I’d much rather just eat dinner than place a kid in a chair facing the wall 48 times in 5 minutes. When he starts acting up I think to myself, “Really? This is what you want to do for the next 30 minutes?” THAT’S really annoying.

Every night around midnight to 3am he comes into our room and sleeps on the floor. It’s not terribly annoying, but I know it’s going to cause issues in the future. We’re both putting off fighting it cause neither of us want to fight him at 3am. I know most of this will fall to me, as Teresa becomes and irrational she-beast when you wake her at night.

That’s all I can think of to post right now. Sorry this isn’t more funny or entertaining…See? This is why I didn’t want to do this in the first place.

Oh, and I have some video. Somewhere in the middle there you’ll see we’ve been blessed with the most patient cat in the world.

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One last thing, to add to the vacation post. I came into the kitchen Friday night to find the fridge pouring water out onto the floor. Several gallons of it. Now we get to replace all the wood laminate in our house. Yay.

this week in noah – an adendum

You know, I regret not posting more often, but I also struggle with posting too much about Noah. It’s trues, if you go to noahbullard.com it will auto-forward to here, but that doesn’t mean it has to be noahbullard.com.

For the most part the only interesting things going on in my life are the funny things Noah does, so that make this all the more difficult. I feel I’m too preachy, so I try to avoid talking about things I believe, which is good for you, the reader, ’cause you have no interest in reading what I have to say about transportation reform and bicycling. (In case you do care, we need it, and it’s fun, respectively.)

And the biggest deterrent of me writing more is standing right next to me right now, wearing a fishing hat, struggling to get the strap of a bag off his neck, shrieking like it’s killing him. Now he’s pushing my thigh with all his weight repeating “My chair! My chair!” Now he’s in tears on the floor. Sigh.

Here are some of his more enjoyable moments.

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this week in noah, volume q

I’ve been putting this off because I’ve been busy/feeling daunted about what to write. So here’s an already outdated video of Noah.

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this arbitrary time period in noah

I’ve complained many times to friends about how we sometimes take as many as 300 pictures of Noah each MONTH. There are times when I will find 40 or 50 pictures of Noah from one session on a swing. I have to wade through hundreds of pictures of Noah’s face getting progressively more covered in food, using any excuse to delete some to free up every decreasing hard drive space. Oh look, one eye is half closed, delete. This one is completely out of focus, delete. All the while Teresa is over my shoulder, “But you never know, we might want that one of Noah’s blurry hand covering the entire lens!”

A few times we wondered how it will turn out with our (assumed) second child. It’s common knowledge that the first baby always get the nicest baby book, and personal knowledge that by the third child, me, my parents didn’t even bother remembering my first word.

But since Teresa and I are so forward thinking, we’ve jumped ahead and started neglecting Noah. Not in the conventional sense mind you, but in a more comparative one. For most people it wouldn’t be a big deal, but to go from 271 photos of Noah in his 9th month, to a total of 2 in his 19th month, well, let’s just say it doesn’t look pretty for his future if you put it on a graph.

Think about that for a moment. 271 pictures of one person in one month. That’s 9 photos a day. I you assume you’re awake for 16 hours out of the day, that’s almost a photo every 2 hours. Are we parents, or stalkers?

Well, no need to worry any more. The two pictures of Noah in his 19th month document him noticing the cat on a shelf. One day we’ll look back and wonder what happened in that month. Did his life just come to a stand still? Was he just really boring that month? Have we lost interest in our son? First it’s 2 pictures a month, next it’s me skipping baseball games for a late meeting, and before you know it, we’re an 80’s coming of age movie. I can’t imagine what I’ll say when he comes home with an ear ring. And a girl he made using science and a Barbie doll.

Anyways, enough of my rambling. Here’s some more video of Captain Adorable Pants.

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