delayed grounds

Welp, Juan got a serious sinus infection, and so our meeting was canceled. I’m glad to say everyone was bummed. I’m glad to say that because it means everyone was excited simply about having a meeting about making an album. If a band is excited to have a meeting about recording, then you know they’re into their music, and they’ll be willing to work hard on what they’ve got.

//

As I said last week, getting Noah to sleep has been a task. We spent three nights standing outside his door, putting him back in his bed each time he’d get up. Then we had two good nights where he was sufficiently pooped and just conked out. Unfortunately tonight he’s back to his old games. He finally quieted down for a few minutes, so I sat down here to write, and within a couple seconds I heard his door open, and before I could get out of my chair I heard the pitter patter of his feet across the floor, and found him streaking across the hall towards our bedroom, screaming “Mommy! Mommy!” Again, he prefers whichever parent isn’t currently putting him to bed, and his ultimate goal is always to be on the floor in our room. Always.

Before it was lights out, he was trying to convince Teresa the best bed for him is me, laying on his floor. He demonstrated this, and truth be told, it didn’t seem so crazy when coming from the mouth of an adorable little boy. Then again my judgment is always swayed by a cuddling toddler.

Teresa just leaned into my door to let me know it’s going to be another marathon night. Maybe that’s my cue that it’s time to switch shifts.

the return

It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted, but I refuse to fall back to my old ways and make whole posts about how I haven’t posted in a while.

Just over a month ago I posted about turning the lock around on Noah’s door, giving us the ability to easily lock him in his room. Well, we’ve changed our minds and decided this isn’t a good idea.

Over the last month Noah has taken to coming into our room and sleep on our floor. It started out with an early morning, maybe 3am, and Noah wouldn’t go back to his bed. I can’t remember the exact details, but it ended with him voluntarily laying on the floor next to my side of the bed.

Since then its continued to get earlier and earlier in the night. 1am. Midnight. 11pm. It’s come to the point where as we put him down for bed he asks to go lay on our floor. We even tried this one night when he refused to sleep. It had gotten to around 9:45, and we just gave up and put his blanket out on the floor for him. But then he preceded to just toss and turn and kick the wall.

So last night Teresa and I made the decision we would stick it out and put Noah to bed, sans locks. As soon as she left the perfectly silent bedroom he began to cry. She sighed real big. “Ten minute shifts” I said. “You go first!” she replied.

I’ll admit, I’m biased, but the ten minute shifts idea was genius. It was the only thing that kept my sanity intact. And even the 10 minutes felt really long. You’d be surprised how many times a toddler can lay down, let you shut the door, and then get up screaming and open the door within one minute.

Noah tried everything. He tried lamenting about the missing parent “Mommy Gone!” when I was on, “Daddy Gone!” when it was Teresa’s turn. Sometimes he got confused. “Daddy Gone!” “No Noah, I’m right here.”

He was thirsty. He was hungry. He was scared of the ‘”roars”. He used every pity tactic he could. I’m pretty sure one of the many books on his bookshelf must be a psychological operations field manual, cause that kid can break a man down.

We each took a try and sitting with him quietly until he’d doze off. Both of us found he’d just wake up as soon as his face hit mattress, so we gave up and just kept laying him back in his bed, not saying a word.

I was pretty sure we’d go on forever, but finally, at about 11:30, Teresa laid him down, he complained for about 15 seconds, and then fell silent. That was a welcome relief to be sure.

So yeah, that’s my update after a month long hiatus. In summary, I think locking my kid in his room kinda messed him up, and fixing it sucks. May not be the same for you, but now you have one anecdote to reference someday. I don’t blame myself or anything, no great remorse over screwing up my kid. I never said I knew what I was doing.

ch-ch-ch-changes

Yeah, you know the song. That’s one of the great things about the success of the internet. If the record labels had it the way they wanted, I couldn’t link to a listenable version of the song, but they’d totally be cool with me recommending you go out and buy the whole album!

But I digress. (I think. I don’t really know what that word means.)

Today marks a couple big changes in the Bullard Atlanta HQ. Last night was awful. Teresa decided to try and ween Noah, and that meant me struggling for over an hour to get Noah to stay in bed. This included him learning that he is able to climb out of his crib, perfecting his door opening skills, and teaching us that we can no longer leave his light-switch stool in his room at night. Yeah, it was fun. Oh, he can also unlock a door.

So tonight, we start some changes. I’m sure this will mean another night of endless returns to his crib.

Change numer eins:
bed
I figure if he’s going to climb out of bed, then it’s our job to teach him that him being in bed is a decision he has to make for himself. Might as well make it less dangerous. Of course, it’s in the picture, but Teresa has made a Great Wall of Pillows to shelter our snowflake from any falls. I figure there’s no better way to cure a kid of fitful sleeping than to take away his since of security in bed. No one sleeps sounder than those wrought with fear. or something. Maybe that’s backwards. Whatever, none of these decisions will have any lasting effects on any persons.

El Chango Numero Dose:
doorlock
That’s the outside of his room. And that’s the lock, on the side I like to call “our side.” Because this is a war, and he’s on his side, and I’m on mine. Rar.

I know this may look awful at first glance, but to you I say loosen up your panties and think with me for a moment. The bed thing makes getting out of bed a decision on Noah’s part. From there he makes the decision to open the door, find us, and we put him back to bed. Last night I learned this is a game for him. He finds it funny. So locking the door is a way for me to make it less fun. He’s gained the control of being in bed or not, I’m keeping the control of him getting out of his room. We’ll never leave it locked through the night, and I hope to not have to use it at all. It’s really no worse than putting your kid in a wooden, padded cage that’s too deep for him to climb out.

And thus far everything is going fine. He’s been down for 15 minutes now, open bed, unlocked door, and it would appear he’ll stay down for the night. I’m still a little worrid, as he seemed to be telling us the small thunder outside was caring him. I told him it was God telling him goodnight (it’s loud cause you know…He’s God.) And of course, because God has that wonderful sense of humor, He made sure to tell Noah goodnight REALLY LOUD right after Teresa put him down. Let’s hope He doesn’t keep it up all night.

So there you have it folks. A quick look at the draconian parenting methods of the Bullards. Hey, if we seem to conservative in our parenting ways, maybe I can soothe you liberal folks with the story of Teresa making her own laundry detergent. Yep, first she’s making clothes, now laundry soap. Expect paisley shawls and bell bottom jeans any minute now.

UPDATE:
(Imagine the Unsolved Mysteries Update music here)
Noah got out of bed twice last night. At 3am he found me out on the couch asleep in front of the TV. He was excited to watch TV with me. I laid him back down and he seemed to be fine, but as I was moving my pillows into the bedroom he found me in the hall. I laid him down again and laid down next to his crib. He poked his head up a few times, but then went back to sleep. Then of course this morning he came into our room to wake us up. I guess that’ll be the new norm. Overall though, not too bad. No real fights.

haHA!

Looks like my song works!

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