bad lyrics can ruin everything

Last weekend I watched one of my favorites movie, The Princess Bride. If you haven’t seen it, you should. The cover makes it looks like a film for 8 year old girls, but I assure you, it’s fun for all ages. And you’re missing out on some big pop culture references (My name is Inigo Montoya…)

For those of you who have seen it, you’ll know it has awesomely cheesy music, which fits the film perfectly. But with it, it has a great love theme that reappears throughout the film. but there’s a downside to this love theme.

A big downside.

Last weekend I decided to watch through the credits, to hear more of this love them, only to be greeted by these horrendous lyrics.
Come my love Ill tell you a tale
Of a boy and girl and their love story
And how he loved her oh so much
And all the charms she did possess
Now this did happen once upon a time
When things were not so complex
How he worshipped the ground she walked
And when he looked in her eyes he became obsessed
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
This love was stronger than the powers so dark
A prince could have within his keeping
His spells to weave and steal a heart
Within her breast but only sleeping
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
Now he said, dont you know I love you oh so much
And lay my heart at the foot of your dress?
She said, dont you know that these storybook loves
Always have a happy ending?
Then he swooped her up just like in the books
And on his stallion they rode away
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel

These are some terrible lyrics. Worse is when you hear them to the music, where, in some cases, he has to rush the phrasing to fit all the syllables into place. Nothing ruins a good melody like trying to crush 9 words into a place that only fits 4. And while I’m not totally stuck on rhyme scheme…you should at least make the lyrics appear to be in song form.

Oh well. No movie can be perfect, and I imagine there are worse things than having the lyrics in the end credits be terrible. Say for instance, aliens that are allergic to water.

seriously…we’re all gonna die

tonight i watched “super size me.” you may have heard of this movie/documentary a few months ago when it first came out in theatres. soon after followed the onslaught of “we’re gonna get you healthy” advertising from mcdonalds. well, i must say that you should give it a gander. while i know better than to take it all as truth, cause as we’ve seen lately, documentaries can be a whole bunch of poo, and even when it is all real, compacting it all in an hour and half creates the idea that it’s a bigger part of life than it really is. and while i don’t want to say that i’m a changed man, cause i’m kinda the king of broken resolutions, it’s certianly changed the way i think about eating. i think my biggest problem is i really like what i call “hearty” meals. things that you can take big bites out of, and have to chew, and you can feel it hit your stomach. things that when you’re done, you know you’ve eaten. the problem comes with the fact that when i visualize these foods, it’s all burgers, or hot dogs, or breakfast skillets made of nothing but onions, hashbrowns, and three kinds of dead pig. that’s right…three. cause two kinds of dead pig is for pansies.

my month on the blockbuster “we can beat netflix” deal is over, and yeah, we’re quiting, and signing up for netflix. plain and simple, one month, and we’ve watched most of the movies we want to see, and havn’t gotten to rent many that we wanted to see. (so to you, the guy who’s had “day of the dead” for a month…you suck) and here you see one of the things that comes with being married. i now sound all pretentious, like i’m refering to myself in the third person when i say “we.” but no, i am referring to the entity that is “the bullards.” so don’t think that this website has gone to my head, cause i gaurentee you, one glance at the stats, and my self-worth takes a nice dive. something that only a sweet kiss some my sexy co-host can cure. so anyways, you should all rent this movie, and watch the extras, simply to know that after we all die from all the nuclear bombs the 80’s action movies told us about, the only things to survive will be cockroachs. and they will feed entirely on mcdonalds french fires.