week without the wife: day two

Short version: uneventful.

Long Version: Went to work this morning. This, in and of itself, is an unexpected success.

After I posted yesterday I went off to play card games with some friends. By “card games” I don’t mean Hearts or Spades. I mean, Yetisburg. A fighting card game based on the civil war. With Yetis. There was a steep learning curve and we just barely finished one game when more people showed up and we decided to eat and watch MST3K. Then I went home.

Once home I straightened up the house a little more and sat to watch The Strangers. I got about 15 minutes in, and decided watching scary movies late at night was not a good idea. Not that I’d get too scared, but more that I’d fall asleep, and no one wants to wake up to people in creepy hoods murdering people. That’s no fun at all.

And now back around to this morning. I tried something new today. I shaved using my face soap, rather than shave cream, and found it to be surprisingly nice. When you only shave once a week, it takes almost 7 times longer to perfect the art. Imagine if you will that I am a 17 year old boy just getting the hang of not bleeding out by the end of each shaving session. Also, the bald spot I accidentally shaved into my goatee has finally filled back in. That was an embarrassing three and a half months.

Anyway, work was work. I’ll appreciate the lack of privacy on the internet and leave it at that.

Got off work late and went back to Juan’s to once again battle the North with my powerful yetis. Finally getting the swing of things we played through a couple games with an even win/loss record. It’s always good to end that way, lest there be slap fights.

I retired early to head home and spray paint air vents, so I can finally cover the two gaping holes in the living room wall. My plan to use the rest of the can to coat a 4′ x 4′ piece of plywood was shortsighted to say the least.

And that leads us right back to hear. I sign off right as Lily Allen’s “Smile (Mark Ronson Version)” which makes me want to get up and clean like a montage in a girly 80’s movie. Slightly sped up goofy scrubbing/dance sequence to follow.

Good night and good luck.

mr. fix it. aka: mr. it’s not as bad as it was.

In the past I’ve shared concerns with my inability to ‘just know’ how to fix everything in the house. Somewhere along the lines I got this idea in my head that once you’re a home owner you should know how everything in it works. Using this logic, it is safe to say I am a licensed auto mechanic 3 times over.

After the wonderful flooring incident we had Teresa’s father replace all the outlets and light switches in the den/dining room so they’d be all fancy and white, rather than the traditional eggshell or whatever color that is. We took the opportunity to correct the random outlets that are installed upside down for no apparent reason.

Watching my brother-in-law and father-in-law replace these outlets made me realize that very little of home construction is true rocket science (no offense to either). Sure, there are safety precautions to take, and not taking them could mean death…but that doesn’t mean the process itself is all that mentally intense.

I ended up being left with a couple outlets unfinished. Maybe it was the busy schedule, or maybe my Father-in-law was testing me. Who knows. They went a few days without being finished, but Noah shocking himself kinda put a point on the need to expedite the process. So yeah, outlet replacement pretty much consists of screwing 3 wires onto the outlet. Add face plate, done.


And since there it’s been a slew of things. I replaced a ceiling light with something much more fitting of a hallway. Thanks to Ask This Old House I learned what a Low Voltage Ring is, and why it’s a much better solution than the one used by the previous owner, punching a hole in the wall, feeding a coaxial cable through it, and then just screwing the face plate into the dry wall.

It’s these learning experiences, and seeing the results of the previous owner’s work, that I’ve realized even an idiot can do a lot of this stuff. Today, while crawling around my attic I found an old bucket, the leftovers of a bathroom vent fan replacement, and a t-shirt. Yeah. I feel like someone in CSI putting together a timeline, trying to solve an assault and battery case where my house is the victim.

So with my new-found confidence I’m glad to say things are really moving along in my house. I have plans to install an antenna on the roof, run some coax through the walls rather than behind the floor molding, and make some sense out of the wiring in our house.

Sure, there may be some fallout from this new sense of self, but really, is two ceiling fans sitting on the floor in the middle of the den all that bad?


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where to begin

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about Noah. The time span between this and the last Noah post is part of the reason it’s been so long. Some sort of weird performance anxiety. I feel like if I don’t document it all, then why document at all? That’s a weird sentence.

I haven’t put up video in a while for 2 reasons: 1, I’m lazy, and I hate video editing. 2, Noah isn’t all that interesting anymore.

OK, maybe that’s not true, but we have certainly let down our former 300-pictures-per-month selves. I think there was one month in there where we took like, 4 photos. You’d think he was our third child or something.

He’s getting really smart. Too smart really. We’ve realized that we can no longer talk about him like he’s no in the room. That’s annoying.

The other night Teresa said she needed to take a shower, saying she was “stinky.” Due to her choice of vocabulary for Noah’s diapers, my son thought my wife had pooped her pants.

I’ve found out why disciplining a child is so hard. It’s not the strong will. It’s the fact that you don’t ever want to do it. I’d much rather just eat dinner than place a kid in a chair facing the wall 48 times in 5 minutes. When he starts acting up I think to myself, “Really? This is what you want to do for the next 30 minutes?” THAT’S really annoying.

Every night around midnight to 3am he comes into our room and sleeps on the floor. It’s not terribly annoying, but I know it’s going to cause issues in the future. We’re both putting off fighting it cause neither of us want to fight him at 3am. I know most of this will fall to me, as Teresa becomes and irrational she-beast when you wake her at night.

That’s all I can think of to post right now. Sorry this isn’t more funny or entertaining…See? This is why I didn’t want to do this in the first place.

Oh, and I have some video. Somewhere in the middle there you’ll see we’ve been blessed with the most patient cat in the world.

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One last thing, to add to the vacation post. I came into the kitchen Friday night to find the fridge pouring water out onto the floor. Several gallons of it. Now we get to replace all the wood laminate in our house. Yay.