Teresa Marie Bullard has officially completed her first garment. Ever since she started crocheting I’ve told her she has until winter to make me a beanie. She kept putting it off, thinking it was beyond her skills. Then yesterday she found a pattern, and at around 9pm she started it, and by 10:30 I had a sweaty forehead. Hooray!

Gaze upon Teresa’s first creation!

Note: No, I am not dying of a wasting disease.


I’ve mentioned before that Teresa is learning Crochet. She gave up for a while, but was inspired again by a spare needle and “skein” of yarn (that’s an industry term) she found in the cabin we just vacationed in.

So tonight, as I’ve done before, I asked Teresa for a song idea, and she gave me “Crochet.”

This is a very rough recording. I’m pretty sure the song wouldn’t be improved by more production, and honestly I think this first take captured me in the right mood for the song. Or I’m just lazy. The bridge is half empty, (half full?) and I tried to fill the second half with improv, and ending up saying a word many may consider naughty. Consider yourself warned. No mom, I don’t use that word in every day life.

So here it is folks, Crochet:

Hey, no one forces you to hit play. It’s your own fault really. You should know better by now.

Note: That loud hum you hear in the background, that’s the fan in my computer. Yeah, I know…AWESOME.
Like what you hear? Check out the song tag for more free music!

nothing to say here

Teresa has picked up Crochet. I’m extremely jealous.

She started because she wanted something to do with her hands. This is very odd for Teresa, as I’ve spent the past 11 or so years that I’ve known her wondering how people can live with out making stuff. Of course, I barely produce anything anymore, but I recall many conversations at the beginning of our relationship about how she doesn’t “produce” anything. I’m was a little captain of musical industry and she “just studied.” I was such an ass. Why she married me I’ll never know.

But Teresa has now found herself a hobby. I’ve commissioned her to make me a beanie. She has until next fall. Right now she’s had little time, and is having a little trouble getting off the ground. She blames herself, I blame the crappy book she bought. But now her Grandmother has come to the rescue in the way only a grandmother can: a box full of yarn balls. “Grammy” as Teresa calls her, (they probably spell it in some crazy way though. The Korte’s have this weird way of making “Papa” sound like “puppuh” and “Mama” like “Mummuh.” They’re strange people.) went above and beyond the call of duty to help her granddaughter get sucked into what looks to be a lucrative world of pot holders and scarves.

Right now Teresa is just working on the basic stitches. So around our house are several 6 foot long pieces of straight braided yarn. Sometimes she wears them as headbands while she’s crocheting and it’s so damn cute it almost makes me want to give Noah a sibling.

But I’m not allowed anywhere near crocheting. Teresa is sure that my seemingly bottomless well of talent would instantly consume her hobby and ruin it for her. The closest I’ve come is the few times I’ve attempted to interpret the horrible drawings in the first how-to book she got. Other than that, I have to stay far away. She even had accusatory questions about me and the sewing kit when she got home from work on Sunday.

She’s not crazy though. I probably would swallow crochet whole and make a sweater and then leave it in the dust like every other hobby I’ve ever had. I’d crochet like mad for 3 weeks, and then get bored with it when I realized I couldn’t make a crochet bike cover or something. I’m not trying to brag. I don’t mean to say I’m incredible and I can do anything, but things like this, working with my hands, I pick that stuff up fast. But as I’ve said before, I’m bloated with “talent” but have little to no creativity, which is important if you want to make that talent productive. None the less, watching her little fingers wrapping yarn around a needle makes me want to dive right in. I’m like some sort of hobby locust. Devour and move on.

So don’t be surprised if next Christmas all our family gifts are bags and coasters. You all saw how cheap we were this year…it’ll only get worse if we start making crafts.