i just need to point this out

Squeaky, jumpy bi-folding pantry door.
“Maybe I should wax it. Do we have any old candles?”
“What? No, why don’t you use grease?”
“cause grease is messy.”
“Who uses wax?”
“Skateboarders…it’s perfect for this.”
“Why don’t you do these dishes instead?”
“cause I want to fix our house.”
“Do the dishes.”
“Fine, I’ll do the dishes, you go out in the garage and look on the shelf for candles.”
“What?! We do not have candles in the garage!”
“You memorized and cataloged the contents of the shelves in the garage?”
“No, but I have never bought candles, and I wouldn’t store them in the garage.”
“You’re the only person that lives in this house?”
“You have never bought candles.”
“This house was completely empty when we bought it?”
“Do the dishes.”
“Look for the candles.”
“Then You do the dishes, I’m looking for candles.”
Return from garage 20 seconds later with huge candle, one of six, left by previous owner.
“Kiss my feet.”
Wax squeaky, jumpy bi-folding pantry door. Works like a charm. Door slides smooth and is no longer squeaky.
“Kiss my feet!”
“I’m going to post about this!”

noah’s first haircut

I did win!

So tonight, I cut Noah’s hair. I personally don’t think it’s done, but Teresa says we have to leave it how it is “for a few days.” A preview: “You don’t know what you’re doing” was followed by “What have you done?”

Of course, we video’d the whole thing. Now while I would normally warn readers of long, boring family videos, I think this one is a must-see for anyone. If nothing else, you get to see Teresa nearly in tears, but in a funny way. Man, there’s no way to say that and not sound evil.

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Now that you’ve watched it once, I’d like to recommend some re-viewings.
1) Just watch Teresa’s face – the excitement, the acceptance, the fear, the terror, the anguish…it’s an Oscar nomination at the very least.
2) Look at me – I bite my tongue the exact same way my father does when he concentrates. Also, listen to the way I sell ice to an Eskimo the whole time.
3) Watch Noah. You almost forget he’s there between the two of us. At one point, I swear he rolls his eyes at us.

hi…i’m married.

so this is my first official post as Mr. Teresa Korte. expect to see mrteresakorte.com soon. but until then i’ll keep posting here. so married life is weird. it feels a lot like playing house. i keep thinking one of our parents are going to come home and wonder what we were doing. but no, we’re allowed. it’s weird.

the thing that really blows my mind though, is that one of my fantasies has come true. the end of the show moral bed talk. you know, the end of the show, the two parents are in bed, reading or whatever, and they put their books down long enough to say to each other how proud of their kids they are or whatever. you know, the daily recap…the little reveal of the moral or whatever. Yeah, that’s great. few things are as beautiful as a little prayer before we go to sleep. that’s great.