Yeah, you know the song. That’s one of the great things about the success of the internet. If the record labels had it the way they wanted, I couldn’t link to a listenable version of the song, but they’d totally be cool with me recommending you go out and buy the whole album!

But I digress. (I think. I don’t really know what that word means.)

Today marks a couple big changes in the Bullard Atlanta HQ. Last night was awful. Teresa decided to try and ween Noah, and that meant me struggling for over an hour to get Noah to stay in bed. This included him learning that he is able to climb out of his crib, perfecting his door opening skills, and teaching us that we can no longer leave his light-switch stool in his room at night. Yeah, it was fun. Oh, he can also unlock a door.

So tonight, we start some changes. I’m sure this will mean another night of endless returns to his crib.

Change numer eins:
I figure if he’s going to climb out of bed, then it’s our job to teach him that him being in bed is a decision he has to make for himself. Might as well make it less dangerous. Of course, it’s in the picture, but Teresa has made a Great Wall of Pillows to shelter our snowflake from any falls. I figure there’s no better way to cure a kid of fitful sleeping than to take away his since of security in bed. No one sleeps sounder than those wrought with fear. or something. Maybe that’s backwards. Whatever, none of these decisions will have any lasting effects on any persons.

El Chango Numero Dose:
That’s the outside of his room. And that’s the lock, on the side I like to call “our side.” Because this is a war, and he’s on his side, and I’m on mine. Rar.

I know this may look awful at first glance, but to you I say loosen up your panties and think with me for a moment. The bed thing makes getting out of bed a decision on Noah’s part. From there he makes the decision to open the door, find us, and we put him back to bed. Last night I learned this is a game for him. He finds it funny. So locking the door is a way for me to make it less fun. He’s gained the control of being in bed or not, I’m keeping the control of him getting out of his room. We’ll never leave it locked through the night, and I hope to not have to use it at all. It’s really no worse than putting your kid in a wooden, padded cage that’s too deep for him to climb out.

And thus far everything is going fine. He’s been down for 15 minutes now, open bed, unlocked door, and it would appear he’ll stay down for the night. I’m still a little worrid, as he seemed to be telling us the small thunder outside was caring him. I told him it was God telling him goodnight (it’s loud cause you know…He’s God.) And of course, because God has that wonderful sense of humor, He made sure to tell Noah goodnight REALLY LOUD right after Teresa put him down. Let’s hope He doesn’t keep it up all night.

So there you have it folks. A quick look at the draconian parenting methods of the Bullards. Hey, if we seem to conservative in our parenting ways, maybe I can soothe you liberal folks with the story of Teresa making her own laundry detergent. Yep, first she’s making clothes, now laundry soap. Expect paisley shawls and bell bottom jeans any minute now.

(Imagine the Unsolved Mysteries Update music here)
Noah got out of bed twice last night. At 3am he found me out on the couch asleep in front of the TV. He was excited to watch TV with me. I laid him back down and he seemed to be fine, but as I was moving my pillows into the bedroom he found me in the hall. I laid him down again and laid down next to his crib. He poked his head up a few times, but then went back to sleep. Then of course this morning he came into our room to wake us up. I guess that’ll be the new norm. Overall though, not too bad. No real fights.

  • Beth

    This looks like fun! Did Teresa nurse him to sleep or are you taking one change at a time now?

  • Big Sis

    Glad to know all of us are locking our kids in their rooms at some point. =) If our kids were stupid, we wouldn’t have to. So its’ their fault.

  • Teresa

    I am still nursing him…one change at a time….

  • Mom

    My first child climbed out of her crib at 14 months. And she didn’t walk until 16 months, after I was already pregnant with #2. I have no sympathy for any of you. What Tony did, who knows–#3 is a blur. I do know he walked earlier than his sisters. Oh, yeah, and he was The Boy!