week without the wife: day two

Short version: uneventful.

Long Version: Went to work this morning. This, in and of itself, is an unexpected success.

After I posted yesterday I went off to play card games with some friends. By “card games” I don’t mean Hearts or Spades. I mean, Yetisburg. A fighting card game based on the civil war. With Yetis. There was a steep learning curve and we just barely finished one game when more people showed up and we decided to eat and watch MST3K. Then I went home.

Once home I straightened up the house a little more and sat to watch The Strangers. I got about 15 minutes in, and decided watching scary movies late at night was not a good idea. Not that I’d get too scared, but more that I’d fall asleep, and no one wants to wake up to people in creepy hoods murdering people. That’s no fun at all.

And now back around to this morning. I tried something new today. I shaved using my face soap, rather than shave cream, and found it to be surprisingly nice. When you only shave once a week, it takes almost 7 times longer to perfect the art. Imagine if you will that I am a 17 year old boy just getting the hang of not bleeding out by the end of each shaving session. Also, the bald spot I accidentally shaved into my goatee has finally filled back in. That was an embarrassing three and a half months.

Anyway, work was work. I’ll appreciate the lack of privacy on the internet and leave it at that.

Got off work late and went back to Juan’s to once again battle the North with my powerful yetis. Finally getting the swing of things we played through a couple games with an even win/loss record. It’s always good to end that way, lest there be slap fights.

I retired early to head home and spray paint air vents, so I can finally cover the two gaping holes in the living room wall. My plan to use the rest of the can to coat a 4′ x 4′ piece of plywood was shortsighted to say the least.

And that leads us right back to hear. I sign off right as Lily Allen’s “Smile (Mark Ronson Version)” which makes me want to get up and clean like a montage in a girly 80’s movie. Slightly sped up goofy scrubbing/dance sequence to follow.

Good night and good luck.

bad lyrics can ruin everything

Last weekend I watched one of my favorites movie, The Princess Bride. If you haven’t seen it, you should. The cover makes it looks like a film for 8 year old girls, but I assure you, it’s fun for all ages. And you’re missing out on some big pop culture references (My name is Inigo Montoya…)

For those of you who have seen it, you’ll know it has awesomely cheesy music, which fits the film perfectly. But with it, it has a great love theme that reappears throughout the film. but there’s a downside to this love theme.

A big downside.

Last weekend I decided to watch through the credits, to hear more of this love them, only to be greeted by these horrendous lyrics.
Come my love Ill tell you a tale
Of a boy and girl and their love story
And how he loved her oh so much
And all the charms she did possess
Now this did happen once upon a time
When things were not so complex
How he worshipped the ground she walked
And when he looked in her eyes he became obsessed
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
This love was stronger than the powers so dark
A prince could have within his keeping
His spells to weave and steal a heart
Within her breast but only sleeping
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
Now he said, dont you know I love you oh so much
And lay my heart at the foot of your dress?
She said, dont you know that these storybook loves
Always have a happy ending?
Then he swooped her up just like in the books
And on his stallion they rode away
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel

These are some terrible lyrics. Worse is when you hear them to the music, where, in some cases, he has to rush the phrasing to fit all the syllables into place. Nothing ruins a good melody like trying to crush 9 words into a place that only fits 4. And while I’m not totally stuck on rhyme scheme…you should at least make the lyrics appear to be in song form.

Oh well. No movie can be perfect, and I imagine there are worse things than having the lyrics in the end credits be terrible. Say for instance, aliens that are allergic to water.

sad news…

I came home last night to a quiet house. There were obvious signs of a struggle. I found our video camera laying on the floor, spatters of blood around it. I picked it up, and viewed the last thing ever recorded on it:

Get the Flash Player to see this content.