bad lyrics can ruin everything

Last weekend I watched one of my favorites movie, The Princess Bride. If you haven’t seen it, you should. The cover makes it looks like a film for 8 year old girls, but I assure you, it’s fun for all ages. And you’re missing out on some big pop culture references (My name is Inigo Montoya…)

For those of you who have seen it, you’ll know it has awesomely cheesy music, which fits the film perfectly. But with it, it has a great love theme that reappears throughout the film. but there’s a downside to this love theme.

A big downside.

Last weekend I decided to watch through the credits, to hear more of this love them, only to be greeted by these horrendous lyrics.
Come my love Ill tell you a tale
Of a boy and girl and their love story
And how he loved her oh so much
And all the charms she did possess
Now this did happen once upon a time
When things were not so complex
How he worshipped the ground she walked
And when he looked in her eyes he became obsessed
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
This love was stronger than the powers so dark
A prince could have within his keeping
His spells to weave and steal a heart
Within her breast but only sleeping
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
Its as real as the feelings I feel
Now he said, dont you know I love you oh so much
And lay my heart at the foot of your dress?
She said, dont you know that these storybook loves
Always have a happy ending?
Then he swooped her up just like in the books
And on his stallion they rode away
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel
My love is like a storybook story
But its as real as the feelings I feel

These are some terrible lyrics. Worse is when you hear them to the music, where, in some cases, he has to rush the phrasing to fit all the syllables into place. Nothing ruins a good melody like trying to crush 9 words into a place that only fits 4. And while I’m not totally stuck on rhyme scheme…you should at least make the lyrics appear to be in song form.

Oh well. No movie can be perfect, and I imagine there are worse things than having the lyrics in the end credits be terrible. Say for instance, aliens that are allergic to water.