the curse of the quad zeroes
My phone number ends in four zeroes. Anytime I tell it to someone, I get the same reaction, “That’s cool! I bet everyone remembers that!”
This statement couldn’t be more false.
First, despite the fact that my phone number requires three less numbers to remember than the common phone number, no one EVER seems to remember it. I’m going to pretend this has to do with everyone just saving numbers in their phones these days, and that it has no social implication of any kind.
Second, few people pick up the first time I call. When four zeroes show up on your caller ID or cell phones screen, you scoff and mumble something about telemarketers. Then you get a voice mail and you hear my voice.
Third, I get wrong number calls ALL THE TIME. I’d say at least 4 a week. I’ve learned first hand that the average wrong number person is not very eloquent, and will generally hang up like a scared old lady as soon as you’ve mentioned they have the wrong number. I always imagine them dropping the phone, backing up against the nearest wall, covering their mouth, and shifting their eyes to the side, like they just heard a ghost on the other end.
But today I had a special treat. Apparently there is a man named Joseph, who is interested in becoming a Marine Officer. Now, I have a lot of respect for people who are willing to give up freedoms to serve their country. But I’d prefer those people give the Marine Recruiters the proper phone number. I just got off the phone with a recruiter who, when faced with the idea he had the wrong number, turned the situation around and made it into a cold call for the Marines.
“When are you going to be a Marine?” he asked, like a normal person would ask, “When are you getting a haircut?” like it’s something everyone does eventually.
The best answer I could give him was that if I did join a branch of the military, I’d follow my father into the Army.
“Why not the Marines?”
The best answer I could give him was that I was raised under a Green Beret-wearing Airborne Ranger, and I probably wouldn’t survive telling him.
That ended the conversation pretty well.
