Yesterday, in an attempt to get a cranky 3 year old our of the house, we set up our family tent (never used by our family yet) in the backyard. After playing for a few minutes, I asked Noah if he wanted to camp out. It was a resounding yes.

The following several hours were only about one thing: camping. I was a little unsure if it were really all that good an idea, but I figured at worst Noah would toss and turn for 30 minutes and then ask to go inside. I’d put him to bed, and then go to sleep in my real bed.

It didn’t quite play out that way.

We couldn’t get him to stop talking about it. We finally decided we’d have to put on a movie, or else we would end up out there at 7:30. He would stand by the back door, looking into the sun, asking, “Is the sun down yet?” “Does it looks like it’s down? Can you see outside right now?” He’d lie. “No. It’s dark now.”

So we tried to find something on Netflix Streaming about camping, but could only come up with an episode of Backyardigans, “Pirate Camp.” It wasn’t about camping. 15 minutes in and Noah was talking about being very tired. The sun actually had gone down at that point, and by the time it was over, it was definitely dark enough to go to sleep. Mind you, it was still only 8:30.

Noah and I made our way to the tent, and he instantly demanded lights out. I had brought 3 volumes of Red Star with me, with the plans to read all off them and still be bored out of my mind. See, I don’t normally go to sleep any earlier than 11:30. Often not until 1am or so. So laying in a tent in my backyard at 8:50 at night was not a very hopeful scenario for me. So, I brought books.

But Noah was having none of it. The flash light we brought was useless, as he demanded I keep it off. I couldn’t even turn on my phone’s screen without being chastised. “Book are for in the morning, Daddy!” So much for my plans.

So I texted Teresa to let her know I was camping out in the Gulag, only to be scolded one last time, and then I put my phone down and accepted my fate.

We lay back and listened to the sounds of our neighborhood. I decided to save time by describing all the sounds together as “crickets.” I couldn’t ID half of them anyways, so no harm no foul. We did hear a plan going by, and that’s when Noah let me in ona 3 year olds outlook of the world.

“Is the pilot sleeping, Daddy?”

“No buddy, ideally the pilot’s stay awake while they fly.”

“Why’s he not in bed?”

Now, I’ve never been very detailed with Noah about what Teresa and I do after he closes his eyes at night, but he’s run out of his room enough times, well into the night, to know we don’t go right to bed. Perhaps he’s just ignored this fact, and chosen to believe that, once his light goes out, the whole world goes to sleep shortly there after. I guess Noah is a Buddhist.

So I decided I might as well give up the fight and see if I can fall asleep at 9:10pm. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t too hard. I didn’t realize it until I heard Noah wake up in a panic, and I had to calm him, remind him he’s in a tent with me. I guess he woke up in sheer terror, which is pitiful, but hysterical to know that as soon as he knew he was camping again, he fell right back to sleep, as happy as a clam.

I woke up a few times through the night, but didn’t have too much issues sleeping. Checked on the boy each time, and he was sleeping like the dead the whole night. I also learned that he doesn’t really use his pillows at all, much like his father at his age.

From about 3am on I had to pee really bad, but kept holding out, until 7am when I just had to get up. Noah woke with the sound of the zipper, and started the day super chipper and quite proud of himself for making it through the night. I must admit, while I use to hold the theory that any more than 7 hours of sleep put me in a bad place, getting out of my tent 11 after going to bed made for a pretty nice morning. Although I then fell asleep a couple hours later on the man chair…hmm…who knows.

All in all, the experiment was a huge success. Noah threw fits any time I mentioned taking the tent down, and before bed tonight he was planning our next camp out.

Filed under: family, travel by tonybullard
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Princeton.edu defines “Vacation” as “leisure time away from work devoted to rest or pleasure.” It defines “Torment” as “intense feelings of suffering; acute mental or physical pain.” One of these things happened this past week.

It didn’t start with a V.

For me personally, everything Started Saturday morning as I participated in my first ever bike race. FM24 was a 24 hour Alley Cat race in downtown Atlanta. From noon Saturday to noon Sunday my 5 man team had a man on the road. By the end we had done 32 laps total. That’s just under 400 miles in all, 83 Miles personally. Needless to say, I was tired. Despite this, we took off Sunday afternoon, after the race, rather than try and travel through Monday morning traffic.

Everything was moving along fine until about 7:30, when my car headed up a hill, and seemed to refuse to change to a higher gear. I cut off my cruise control and as I began to slow down I heard a rattling sound coming from my engine. Yay. My oil pressure light came on. I pulled into a station, checked the oil, it was very low. Funny, the oil change the month beforehand said everything was working fine. 3 quarts of oil later my dipstick finally said I was at full, but it was too late. My hopes that enough oil could drown out an klinking engine were in vain.

We found a hotel and stopped for the night. This is where the adventure began. I’ll try and keep this brief.

Morning. Hotel guy recommends a mechanic. We go into town at 15mph, klinking along. Can’t find the guy. We pull into the first shop that appears open. Two men walk out of the garage with the most pained looking faces I’ve ever seen on a man not currently suffering kidney stones. They say bad things like “melted bearings” and “replace engine.” They send me over to “the only other guy in town I’d trust.” Oh, that really instills hope.

We find THAT guy, he seems to know what he’s talking about. Teresa comments that he’s completely unlike any other puhy mechanic she’s ever talked to. Ray of sunshine in the storm. Thanks Scott of Mike and Sons. We call up some rental places and everyone is out of cars until the afternoon. We find one that has a single car on the lot. I bike over to them (Thank GOD I had my bike with me, so useful throughout all this) and get a van. 500 bucks. Oi. At least we have plenty of room for people and luggage.

We finally get to St. Augustine. The condo is wonderful, literally across the street from the ocean. Monday goes on just fine.

Tuesday starts, and both Teresa and Noah feel bad. Noah is coughing up a storm. Tree soon follows. Sore bodies and fevers.

We find out fixing the car will cost us 3 grand. We go for it, figuring I’d rather spend 3 grand on MY used car than buy someone else’s used car for 8 grand. Also, the new engine is 30,000 miles less than the current one. So we’re a couple days into our ‘vacation’ and we’ve already spent about 4 grand. Yay! The time we spend in Historic St. Augustine is always cut short by Noah looking over-heated and barely conscious.

We finally decide Noah has been sick for too long once Thursday comes around. We go in to a walk-in clinic, and Noah is diagnosed with Swine Flu. We can only guess that we picked it up from the hotel. Upside, it’s just Tree and Noah. Still got one guy up and running to care for the others. (Consider this foreshadowing.)

Friday is spent sitting around the condo. The rest of the gang go down to Daytona Beach. I realize that cable really isn’t worth paying for. We decide to cut the vacation short and leave Saturday. After all, moping around home is always more satisfying than someone else’s place.

Saturday comes, and I wake up with a cough. Yay! We spend the day in the car. 7.5 hours to get home. Everyone is miserable and couching and generally no fun. Every time we stop we have to keep Noah and Teresa out of the public as much as possible. This is more difficult/annoying than it sounds.

We get home. Toby practically mauls us all night. We sleep.

It’s now Sunday. We awak slowly, mull around the house till noon, dreading the trip BACK to Valdosta to return the rental car. Yeah, since everyone else was out of cars, we went with the local place, and now we have to return it ourselves. we think it’s a 3 hour drive. It’s actually a 4.5 hour drive. A second day with three sick people in a car for 8 hours. Yay!

The drive down is wonderfully uneventful. I burn 5 CDs so I can be entertained on the ride down, but I find the CD player in this crappy rental barely works. By barely I mean it plays the first 20 seconds of the first track of each CD. Another day of listening to awful radio going in and out.

So, after all this, we finally arrive in Valdosta, pull into the rental place, find the key drop-off box, and it turns out God is not yet done with trying to kill me. The big, fat keyless entry key does not fit into the envelope-thin drop-off box slot. Awesome. We call several numbers (Thank God for internet enabled phones) and finally get a hit when we dial the number on the top of the credit card receipt. “Andy” tells us to hide the key somewhere. I just know the car will be stolen and this “Andy” character will no longer exist and we’ll have to buy them a van.

4.5 hours back. We’re home. All three still sick. I have to take off work now that all my vacation time has been used up by this week of wonderful family time.

And sometime next week I’ll have to drive all the way back to Valdosta to pick up my car. Yay!

Filed under: family, rambling, travel by tonybullard
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yeah, I know this is like, 3 weeks late, but you know what? I’m a busy man, so leave me alone.

I’ll warn you, this will be very long, as it is fairly detailed. It covers each day separately, and plays out much like the horrible slide show you never want to get stuck watching. So if you want, you can just scroll through and look at the pretty pictures. There’s a video at the end that I promise is not horrifyingly boring. It includes bears. Does that reel you in? If not, then you should just leave now.
(more…)

Filed under: cycling, family, photography, travel by tonybullard
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one of two things is happening: a) i have someone escaped death’s design, and it is hunting me down much like it/he/she did in final destination, or b) God is teaching me a lesson in patience in that way that i hope He and i will laugh about later. either way…i’ve had a tough week.

now i do know that there are people out there who have things much worse than i do, but i’m judging on a scale of middle class white guy grade. let me explain further, using dates and details compiled via official government documents and whatnot. heh.

May 17th: driving up north 75 in the rain, a puddle mistakes my truck for a pair of waterskis, and i begin to hydroplane…which sounds a lot cooler than it is. as i think to myself, “don’t oversteer, don’t slam on the brakes” i notice out of the corner of my eye, the gaurdrail located in the median is laughing at me. i decide to show it who’s boss, and we get into a short fight. the gaurdrail won. much thanks to my sister, driving three hours from alabama to pick me up, we both ventured the other three hours to atlanta, leaving my truck in a salvage yard to be dealt with at a later, and dryer time. i manage to get everything out of my truck except for the tool box mounted in the truck bed, and my ever so beloved stick shift skull, steve. it was hard leaving him behind, reminding me of when my children would die in oregon trail. worse was knowing that i couldn’t drown my sorrows in a good round of rabbit hunting.

May 18th: i found out i have rental reimbursement on my insurance…and thusly i get a rental car. i can now work while i wait to hear about the fate of my truck. i am told i can use up to 30 dollars a day and a total of 900 dollars.

May 20th: learning of an airsoft game in daytona florida on the 5 of june, i decide the best plan of action, if the truck is in fact totaled, to drive down with my roommate on the 4th, pick up my fiancee’s old car, and then play airsoft on the 5th, heading back up to atlanta on the 6th, and all would be well. happiness ensues.

May 21st: i get a call from my insurance company, letting me know that the car is in fact totalled, and they’ll get the settlement numbers out to me asap, most likely on monday. with this news, we decide that going down on the 4th is a good plan. all is well.

May 24th: insurance updates me, settlement is, well, settled, and i am then informed that i only have three days left on my rental reimbursement. so that means i’ll have no car after the 27th, and that i can’t work after that. fun. i call about 5 different insurance people, who all use the same tactic of “tell him no until he gives up.” i give up. so now i’m stuck with no car, no money from my insurance company (yet), and no way to get down to florida to get my fiancee’s old car.

May 25th: after explaining my situation to many rental car agencies, i get several estimates for renting a car and leaving it in florida.

May 26th: i decide the rental car idea is a good one, and call hertz, who quoted me the lowest price. after verbally filling out forms for a nice long time, i discover that the guy from yesterday failed to explain that hertz doesn’t rent to people under 25. yay. i call back all the other places i called the day before…same deal. i start to look up plane fares…but at this short of notice, they’re all in the 200 dollar range. it finally comes down to a greyhound bus.

may 27th. plans are set. but then issues come up about having a tag for the car. can’t get a tag till after memorial day, can’t work until i get the car…it’s decided that coming to florida on the bus that i can’t get a refund of is the best idea…and i’ll just wait in florida until tuesday comes.

May 28th: i stay up all night to ensure that i’ll sleep as much as possible on the bus. i take an hour long nap. i wake up at 5:30am with an instant feeling of nausea. i manage to get one cheddar and peanutbutter cracker down. arriving at the greyhound station, after getting lost, i realize it’s much like an airport…only tiny, and dirty. i wait for my bus for an hour, head in hands, praying to God for relief from my horrible nausea. the bus ride is very long, and i am sick the whole way. ten hours of bus and sick. lots of fun. i transfer buses in some small town, and the bus driver gets lost. i arrive an hour and a half late, and i wait almost another hour because my ride was being haggled by a salesman.

May 29th-31st: if i don’t eat, i get sick. if i eat…i get sick. this is pretty much the game throughout the weekend. i spend some time with my best man, seeing kill bill vol 2 again, (just as awesome the second time around…odd how i was sick the first time i saw it too) and thank God that as i hang out at my best man’s house and watch the lightning game, i eat hungry howie’s pizza and don’t feel sick.

June 1st: i am amazed at how quickly we get through both the tax collector’s office for the tag and title, and the circuit court for our marraige license (little side trip). but i’m so scared of having another sick day, i worry myself sick. we take my new (to me) car to tire kingdom to check on a funny looking tire. they say “two hours” i wanted to leave town my 9:30 am. i make a comment about not getting out of town till 11. my fiancee says it’ll be fine and i’ll be out before then. we wait at her house…i’m sick…and tired. i nap. we get a phone call, car’s done in 30 minutes. hooray. we arrive at tire kingdom. they don’t know who called, but the car hasn’t even moved yet, and they send us back up. 11 o’clock passes. I make another comment, this time saying 4 o’clock. we get another car, the car is done…for real this time. two new tires, alignment, and 220 dollars later, and i’m ready to hit the road…sorta. gotta get some safety pins to pin up the sagging roof cloth so it doesn’t drive me nuts touching my head the whole trip back. by the time everything is ready to go, it’s 3:45. i believe i am a prophet, until i cannot manage to part my pepto bismal like moses did the red sea. I drive off, make it down the road, only to get a call from my fiancee telling me she forgot to show me how to check the water levels in the car. i turn around, and we figure it out, i’m on the road again. i discover that the AC does not work, and at a rest stop i break the belt buckle cover. as i travel onward, through the area i crashed my truck it, it rains slightly, as if to mock me. i turn on the windshield wipers, and i watch as a drop distored view becomes a streak distorted view and notice that the wipers are half desintegrated. mind you, i’m sick through all this too…hungry…but nauseous.

and that brings us ’round about to now. i didn’t get home till around midnight. and now i’ve spent an hour writing this, and it’s so long, no one will read it. well, that’s not true. i’m sure teresa will read it, and leave a comment about some innacurate date or something. cause she hates me. but that’s my story…long, annoying, and i have to say i left out about 15 little annoying detauils that just made the pile seem bigger and bigger. i don’t have the accuracy of memory to properly recount just how daunting this past week has been…but i do believ this is the part where i would wear sack cloth, put dirt on my head, a mourn publicly. but in the weirdest way, i’m very much at peace with God. during all these events, as frustrating as it all was…i knew it was for some reason (yet to be revealed) and i knew that in the end things would end up better. i did get to spend some nice time with my best man, and i certainly appreciate seeing my fiancee again. so while i do complain alot…i know that i’m blessed with far better things than well working cars and good luck.

Filed under: health, travel by tonybullard
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