And after all that, I’m back. I’m sure assuming I was missed by a great deal of people is a delusion of grandeur, especially when this week has been my most blogiest in forever.

I spoke about why I took time off, but I never spoke about why I participate in these social networks in the first place. Social Networking as become so ingrained in our society at this point that most people don’t even feel they need to explain why someone else should be on Facebook. You just do it. Don’t listen to Christina Hendricks, just do it. Whatever reason other people do it, here are my reasons.

I enjoy my friends. It sounds pretty obvious, but this is my main motivator. One of the first things I had to overcome when I went on hiatus was the nearly involuntary clicking of the Facebook link in my toolbar. Even without that, typing in “fac” into Firefox’s Awesome Bar is a quick way to get there. This muscle memory action is directly tied to my mind (my heart? awwwww) when I think about my friends. Juan had mentioned in his post that we all crave attention, which is no doubt completely true about me, but I think I would still use Facebook even if I wasn’t able to share my thoughts with the world my friends through it. I read through my Facebook news feed not just to see what my friends are up to, but to do as much socializing as I can given the little free time I have. Even if I couldn’t respond with comments, or give ‘thumbs up’ or otherwise feedback to my friends, I’d still go just to be able to see what’s going on in their lives. These are people I care about, and seeing them grow and change is an important part of my life. (Sappy.) Seeing them doing things together, even if it doesn’t include me, is enjoyable, just cause, well, despite how cheesy it sounds, I just like my friends being happy. And even if I can’t be there as they do whatever it is that they’re doing, them being able to share that information with me is a way that we can have a shared experience despite my absence.

One thing I really didn’t like about the hiatus was not being able to share things with my friends. While sharing things on the internet isn’t a new thing, the proliferation of Facebook has made it incredibly easy to do, to a lot of people. Heck, the origins of blogs was the weblog, which was nothing but a link of the cool things you found on the internet. It was literally a log of what you found on the then wild west internet. Now-a-days most of the most popular sites on the net are just better, cleaner, more widespread versions of just that. So I’ve had my blog for almost 10 years (OhMyGoshThatIsRidculous), and had plenty of chances to share stuff with anyone who reads it, but not until Facebook came around did I really feel like linking something was really getting it out there. People use Facebook, which is why the notes on Facebook of this blog have (hopefully?) gotten more comments than the actual blog posts themselves. Bringing my links to Facebook is more likely to find viewers than expecting them to come to me. But I really do enjoy finding a good video, or a comic, or something else, and knowing that some of my friends will see it and enjoy it themselves.

I guess none of this is quite revolutionary. Perhaps this post was kind of a waste. Maybe I should talk less and go waste some time on Facebook.

See you at internet.

posted on 09.02.10 @ 9:00am

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Yesterday Juan Baez III (He makes us call him that…we have to pronounce it “eye eye eye.”) did a guest post about my current Facebook / social networking diet.

I had feared that my posts talking about this issue weren’t very clear (Who would have thought my incessant rambling would not be easily understood?) as to exactly why I was doing it. So, here goes attempt number four.

I originally touched on how Facebook consists of a lot of posturing. A good bit of preening happens before you post something on Facebook. Sometimes it’s as simple as only uploading the pictures of you that make you look good. Other times it’s spending a couple minutes figuring out the best way to say something in a short, concise manor so you look more smarter. As I said before, this creates an idealized image. And heck, anyone who doesn’t do this and whines about being unhappy all the time, those people are ‘hidden’ from view, furthering the pristine aesthetic. So that’s Facebook.

Another portion of the net I’ve stepped away from is my RSS feeds. This is something that I myself have preened to perfection. I’ve found all the sites I like, and I’ve assembled them together in Google Reader to make some sort of Tony Entertainment Nexus. A portion of this is idealized visions of other people (their blogs). Other portions are made up of funny videos, good music, pretty pictures. What it ends up creating is this world view perfectly tailored to my ideal life. It’s all good, and no bad. If any bad gets through, I skip past it, or I’ll eventually remove that RSS feed.

So here’s the basis of my problem: A very large portion of the “good” in my life, is coming from a glowing screen I sit at all day. When I’m NOT looking at this constant flow of good stuff, I’m in my car, or on the bus, or at home raising my kids. Much of that time I can’t do anything to create my own good stuff. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but right now we’re in a tough spot of having a newborn and a temperamental 3 year old. That means a lot of my time at home is spent managing Noah, and once he’s in bed, Teresa and I are so tired we can barely manage to do more than fall asleep on the couch watching TV. So externally, the world is great, my friends are having fun, creative people are being wonderfully creative, and life is good. Internally, I have the stress of a job and life, a self loathing at my own failure to be creative, and a sense that I have no free time to do anything I want to do. THIS is the essence of my problem. Right now I feel like I don’t have control over making my own happiness, and while it may not be true, the Tony Entertainment Nexus is telling me that everyone else has a great handle on theirs.

All that aside, here’s the truth of this situation. I do have control over my own happiness. While it may be difficult sometimes, it’s my job to remind myself that, despite their Facebook pages, other people don’t have perfect lives either. I have no plans to permanently disconnect myself from the social web, and it’s not going to change itself to my liking, so it’s on me to figure out how to deal with this external/internal dilemma. But if learning to deal with that includes cutting myself off for a while, or maybe every once in a while, then so be it. When I “come back” on Thursday, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to dive back right back in and go back to where I was. Perhaps I’ll try to trim down that enormous RSS list (which will be very long after not looking at it for a week). Maybe I’ll limit my Facebook use to certain times. Who knows. All in all, I’m glad I’ve done this so far, if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I can. I never claimed to be addicted to Facebook, but anybody can say “I’m not addicted. I’ll stop right after this.”

posted on 09.01.10 @ 9:00am
tags:facebook, happiness, social networking
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I have have my very first ever guest post! Juan Baez III, my former class mate, former roommate, audio engineering, band fronting friend has written up his opinion on my current hiatus from Facebook, Twitter et al.

I Bet that Song is about Me:
Why quitting social media doesn’t work

Constantly connected, telling our “friends” our every move, repeatedly shouting at the internet masses with hopes of saying something witty enough to be RT’d, wondering what we could’ve said to get more likes, pageviews, @’s and medals; the world is a bit different now. Social media has changed the way we interact with one another, is it bad? No. It’s the future. It’s the Now…ture.

The economy sucks. People are breeding. You work harder to achieve things you want, and skip events because the cost is too high. You don’t go to that movie, you skip out on that bar outing, you say “maybe next time,” but you know the truth. Your actual friends strewn about the highway that is your busy life. But you’re still there, living, and so are your friends, just not together. We all crave attention, it’s why we’re driven to meet people in the first place, you listen to their stories in hopes that they’ll listen to yours. We are a vain species and we can’t all be monks. So instead of going outside, we hang out with people all day every day on them internets. Now we can have conversations that last days with people miles away, without spending our overpriced cell minutes and texts, by msg’ing on facebook. These close friends have your email address, do they use it? No. They msg you. From their bathroom.

“I thought this was supposed to convince me being on the net was a good thing.” Nope, this is supposed to convince you that being off the net is a bad thing. Now you’re out of the loop. Now you lose touch with people you care about. Now funny things throughout your day are replaced by boredom and snacking(?). And your need to be heard, to one-up another with witty one-liners, is still there. You just blurt it at whoever is near you, who will most likely have no idea what you’re talking about. But your friends would know, and they’d probably LTAO. Combine that with the fact that we no longer trust or give a damn about local media and you could be facing actual disaster. I don’t want to watch my local news team to know what’s going on, F*/! THOSE DUDES, THEY DON’T KNOW! The internet is a joyous place and we’re getting tied in more every day.

Do I need to know what all my friends are doing every moment? Do I need to have what used to be in print magazines shoved in my rss addled face? Do I really need to see a cat play a keyboard or a three wolf moon? Probably not, but your friends will do it all anyways, and if you ever actually physically hang out with them they’ll be dropping internet knowledge briquettes and you’ll be left standing there like an ignored spouse at a company party.

“So wait, what?” Exactly.

posted on 08.31.10 @ 9:00am
tags:facebook, social networking, twitter
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This morning, on the train, I a guy sat down across from me. I looked up at his face, and instantly saw the Facebook page, and thought “Holy crap, Ben Kingsley’s body double is on MARTA.”

So I guess I haven’t washed the thought externalization out of my head completely yet.

Then again, it has quieted down up there a bit. In a good way. Not in the “man there’s a lot of fumes at this gas station” way.

It’s funny, this week has also probably been the most social I’ve had in a while. On Saturday Tree and the boys and I (still testing out how to say that kinda stuff) went to Grant Park for some art fair thing, and we met up with a former band mate of mine, Andrew Asher (of JATO fame) while he visiting from Tampa. Although if it weren’t for Teresa reading Andrew’s post on my Facebook wall, we wouldn’t have known he was in town. So it’s good to know I have a curator while I’m away.

Then last night I went to Kennesaw to practice with UVM for an upcoming show that I’m subbing in bass guitar for. Twas nice to see my friends again. Moreover, it was great to play live music with people again. It was awesome. I don’t know if any of the other guys picked up on it, but I was trying to hide a giddy smile the whole time. There’s nothing that beats the energy of individuals coming together to make a synchronous racket together. I could gush about it for 3 more paragraphs, but I’ll spare you.

I also found another way to avoid looking at my phone every 30 seconds. Just leave it at home. That’s VERY effective.

posted on 08.30.10 @ 10:14am
tags:facebook, JATO, music, social behavior, UVM
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